The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.



They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.



Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.



We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.



As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.



Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.



We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.



We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.



We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!



We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.



No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.



We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.



We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!



We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.



We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.



We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,

made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.



We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!



Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!



The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!



This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!



The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.



We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO

DEAL WITH IT ALL!



And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!



You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.



And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.



Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

A businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500. So they do.



Before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'



On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price.



So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the typed note:



Dear Madam:



Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment.



I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that;



1) it had never been occupied



2) that there was plenty of heat



3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.



However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.



Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:



Dear Sir,



First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.



As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.



Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady.



Send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady...